A different perspective

September 30, 2009

I know this is going to sound callous, but this will be good for you.

You didn’t know how much it hurt her to be ostracized, just because she was good.  Because she worked hard, was focused instead of chatting along the back wall.  Perhaps you thought that being a Championship dancer was reward enough to cover all the ostracization.   So you went ahead and made her feel like no one liked her.

Perhaps you were jealous.  Perhaps you didn’t understand.

But you do now.

You want it now.  I love to see the fire start burning in you.  You’re getting better… you’re on the cusp of championship.  You’re working hard, starting to sweat during class, although you wouldn’t have wanted to before.  You ask for extra help, just like she does.  And you actually take my advice, just like she does. You want it bad enough to let go of that teenage pride, and it’s paying off.

And the jealousy is now being directed toward you.    You never knew how it felt to have friends you had for years suddenly not want to talk to you, or at least chat like before.  Maybe you didn’t notice because you spend your time in class working  hard.   I know now that those same friends, the ones who started with you, are not understanding why suddenly you’re getting attention from me.  I’d give it to them too if they would take it sincerely.

Maybe talk to “the chosen one” again.  Maybe she would love for you to ask her about one of the moves in your reel.  Maybe she’d love someone to just acknowlege she’s there.   It’s true: Teenagers love attention, but they want good friends more.  So cut her some slack, if only because you’d like your own.

5 Responses to “A different perspective”

  1. BRAVO!!!!! That was amazing and sadly, so true! This sort of treatment happens with 10, 11 & 12 year old’s too.

  2. Troublejig said

    Wow. I left that on the screen for my daughter to read. SHe’s 8, but once she comes in the kitchen and asks me casually what ‘ostricized’ means, every word of it will resonate with her. She has endured it all from her casual classmates. Getting on a plane to go to the Oireachtas while they file off to school will be a bit of balm, but it’s hard nevertheless. She hopes with all her might that others will catch fire. Her teacher protects her from false hopes.

  3. Jody said


  4. red said

    That girl, you know the quiet one who listens well that’s my daughter. She asks questions of the TC and listens to her advice. She helps others learn their steps just because she’s nice. Her reward she goes to feiseanna and has to put up with “mean girls”. That’s ok she’s one win away from Opens champ and she has a heart condition, back condition, and asthma. She practices every day and never has a pity party. Am I proud of my quiet, sweet champ? You bet!!! If she never gets to Opens (she’s 17) that’s ok, she’s a wonderful human being and will do fine in life. I think I’ve learned more from watching how she handles these “mean girls” than I did the whole time I was competing myself in softball when I was a girl.

  5. S said

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m a mom with a sweet girl (though I know she has the capacity to be mean too!) who is working hard and enduring the snide comments and dirty looks. We’ve almost switched schools because of the mean girls, and their mean moms! Being a wonderful human being counts more in my book than being a champion Irish dancer – but both would be nice, too.

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