Break the Cycle

March 15, 2012

After recent Major competitions I have had a little time to ponder an anomaly I had never noticed before. I have talked to a lot of my peers, as well as some older dancers who have set their sights on becoming a registered teacher. I guess I have one of those faces, because the back-stories come freely as we talk about where Irish Dance is now.

So many sad tales. So much betrayal, conniving, abandonment, ambition, indecision, frustration and greed, all mixed in with the friends made, the new paths taken, the goals adjusted and the battles won. It seems like no one has a straightforward tale. Has anyone started with one teacher and progressed all the way through untouched or untainted by drama? Has anyone been accepted by their own as they announced their plans to teach? All the stories I heard involved transferring with all its dark baggage, leaving the school of your genesis by choice or by force, Abandoning your teacher or being abandoned by the same. I myself have a twisted tale. Don’t you?

But I can see behind all these woeful origins, I see hope sparking. The reasons you have survived are bright and beautiful, full of hope and energy to become something great. Your ambition is not to become just like “them”, it’s to be better, stronger, smarter, or perhaps more kind or honor tradition more. To prove that there is a better way.

I have heard that often children who were abused grow up to abuse. Girls who hated being nagged by their mother hear her tones in their voices later on. We do this because it’s somewhat pre-programmed. We can break out of the cycle, if we before make a clear decision of what we will do instead. Replace the problem with a solution, and then work. Don’t give in.

I see that this new generation will be the ones to revolutionize our little quirky world. If we can resist getting sucked into the quicksand. Let’s keep our minds and our hearts open. We are stronger together than pulling each other apart. It doesn’t have to be this way. Take the stories that formed you, often turbulent like the potter’s wheel, to form and shape something new, something that will be stronger. Let’s not react. Let’s act.

7 Responses to “Break the Cycle”

  1. C said

    Thank you for this post! I really needed a read like this today. I made a vow to myself a LONG time ago to not be like “them” and bring joy to the lives of others 🙂

  2. spaghetti said

    Totally agreed!!!
    After being forced out of my school after they encouraged me to do my TCRG … I opened my school & 6 years later we are an environment of encouragement & I don’t get caught up in the politics or {crap} like my old school still does.
    I will one day thank my old TC for forcing me out, for I am no longer like them & neither are my students!

  3. K said

    I thank God everyday that I was one of the lucky ones who came from a school where I did not have this experience. I danced for almost 20 years with the same teacher. We had some ups and downs but always managed to work things out in the name of loyalty – and that loyalty worked both ways. I was encouraged to get my TC and have since gotten my AD. My TC was always in my corner – quietly being supportive and making sure I was well practiced and ready to go at all times. Unfortunately she passed just prior to me achieving my TC but I know she would have been beaming from ear to ear and would have supported me no matter what I decided to do. Sadly I find this is not the case most times. I am just very glad that I was one of the lucky ones. I try to instill this same loyalty and support to my own dancers now. Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not – but that’s on them because I can only teach it and live it on my end. Their choice is exactly that….

  4. Ss said

    Agreed! Let’s hope new teachers are willing to celebrate dance and the children they teach rather than resort to selfish behavior.

  5. This made me cry. Thank you for such touching words.

  6. Abby Francis said

    I am an Irish Dancing teacher and all of my girls have won Nationals, Europeans and Worlds. I stretch them for an hour before we actually start dancing. They are all willing to dance every day apart from the weekends for 3 hours a day. Including the stretching time. Some people think that I ‘over-stretch’ my children. If every child has won Nationals, Europeans and Worlds, then it must be working!!! Why do people think that???

    • Abby Francis said

      And I have never abandoned my kids, therefore I think treating all of your dancers the same, whether some are better than others, older or younger, they should have the equal amount of help. And yes I do shout at them if they keep forgetting their steps, but if you want the dancers to become champions in everything, it takes up your time and hard work!!

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